Irresistible, R.

Tonight I long for sleep,

to rest upon my faithful bed as I always do.

Yet it does not feel the same as you.

Not as magnetic as you, 

not as dreamlike as you.

Tell me why, in a night like this,

my thoughts return to you again.

Whatever state of mind I find myself in,

it is always you who follows.

When I wander through beautiful places,

I ask myself how it would feel to stand there with you.

When I attend concerts and crowded gigs,

I wonder what it would be like if you were beside me.

When my band takes the stage,

I find myself thinking of how I would feel if you were there to see me.

When I see two people in love beneath the quiet trees,

I cannot help but wonder if that could ever be us.

When I run in the early morning light,

I imagine what it would feel like to run beside you.

When I think of Paris, Edinburgh, Crema, and Prague,

I picture you there with me,

as though those places were waiting for us.

When I look at my parents,

I begin to wonder what they would think of you.

When I write lyrics for my band, I think of you.

When I look at a drum, I think of you.

I keep trying to place you within my life,

as though you have always belonged somewhere in it.

You are the cause of this restless mind,

the quiet source of both my happiness

and my sorrow.

It unsettles me to admit

that I do not believe I am ready for you.

Not ready for something new,

not ready to begin again.

Yet I know this much to be true.

I cannot deny you.

You have not asked anything of me,

and still, you feel impossible to refuse.

I have tried, more than once,

to rid you from my thoughts,

but you remain.

You remain in my mind,

in my soul,

in the silence that follows me.

Like a melody I have never learned,

yet somehow cannot forget.

Like a place I have never known,

yet somehow continue to miss.

You linger in a way I cannot escape,

nor fully understand.

Perhaps that is what troubles me.

Or perhaps that is simply the truth.

You are irresistible, R.