We Love in Different Ways, and That is Okay.

'Love' is such a funny thing. It's weird, it's beautiful, and it's unexplainable in so many ways that it's hard to understand.As a woman, oftentimes I was told to find love. In extended family meetings, I would hear, "Have you found a boyfriend yet?" or "So is there a guy you like?", and all those questions that have never really bothered me, truly — but it always made me wonder; "Does love only come in romantic terms?"

And as I grew older, I realized that it is not; but society often frames it that you are not fulfilled without a romantic partner, that your life would be miserable without one, that the only way to 'be loved' is to find it through the feelings of eros, that one day — romance is something that is somewhat a duty for a girl to go through, and it has always made me wonder — why is it only eros that people consider of love?Why is it only romance that is acceptable for a young, teen girl, to twirl her hair and giggle around to?Why is it only romance that is used to measure whether I am loved enough? Why is it only romance that proves that I am capable of love; and loving someone else?

... I was the girl who would force herself to be in love with a guy from our grade, the one who picks someone to be 'in love with', the one who has the biggest fear of missing out because all of her friends are deeply in love; they go on silly little dates and have piles of photobooth pictures with their lover — while my pile only consists of my friends, my mother, and myself.And all of that was because I was scared of missing out. I never craved to have romantic experiences, nor will I ever be. I was just so scared that I'm not experiencing the 'supposedly normal teenage girls' things. I was scared that maybe I am truly not loved enough, but I never understand why do I need to feel intense romance; why do I have to act through, to spend times with a guy whom I call 'partner'; why do I need to have the feelings that I am not fulfilled enough without a man; why can't I simply feel attracted to someone like every other teen around me; and so, what if I don't experience attraction like how everybody else expects me to? — but then I realized,

Love doesn't always have to be romantic. I may not have romantic attraction towards others, but that does not mean I'm not allowed to; or cannot love. I realized that seeing and experiencing love during girlhood doesn't always have to be through the lens of romance, that love itself has so many other forms — that for some girls, the absence of attraction is also what they experienced in their own girlhood.And so I have great friends, a family, and a community around me. I have people who believed in me, and stayed with me no matter what. I have people I believe in, and stay with them no matter what. I have those who truly made me feel loved, despite not being an eros love. I do not have to experience romantic love, like an act of tragedy; to feel loved. I'm alright with how I love; and how I'll receive it.I may have a different view; or way, of loving. I may have a  different perception; or way, of being loved. But that does not make me less human or incapable of loving. Love comes in so many forms; and it is not limited to one. There are many ways of loving, we love in different ways, and that is okay.