A reflection on our endless love for the pets who are no longer with us.
The pain of pet loss is real. Because the emotions you shared with your pet were real. The grief associated with pet loss is valid. Because you didn’t lose a thing, you lost someone, someone close and someone special to you. — Dr. Sarah Hoggan
TikTok’s algorithm is specifically tuned into your interests. If you happen to like a couple (hundreds) of cat videos, there’s a high probability that TikTok will latch onto that and proceed to throw an endless amount of similar videos your way. People wrote on there that they “build their FYP (For You Page) brick by brick” in order to curate some kind of a “vibe” of contents they wish to consume. In my case, I like a couple (thousands) of videos of dogs. Hence, how I stumbled upon Isabel and Simon. Isabel Klee is a content creator and New York Times best-selling author of a book titled, “Dogs, Boys, and Other Things I’ve Cried About: A Memoir.” But, before it came to that, Isabel initially worked for The Dogist, a TikTok platform that captures dogs all around New York. Before being let go in 2023. Though upset at first at her sudden unemployment, Isabel reflected that there was at least one good thing out of it. Through her days working at The Dogist, Isabel met Simon.
Simon, a Jindo mix with idiopathic epilepsy rescued from the South Korean dog meat trade. As an animal welfare advocate, Isabel is known for fostering and rehabilitating medically and behaviorally complex rescue dogs. Before Simon, Isabel had fostered five other dogs before adopting Simon in 2019. Isabel and Simon quickly became a beloved figure in the community, their story boosted the drive for fostering and rescuing dogs. As of February 2026, Isabel had fostered 33 dogs. The most notable thing about them is how helpful and amazing Simon was with the dogs Isabel fostered. In one of her TikTok videos, Isabel noted how calm and patient Simon was with the foster dogs. Millions of people globally were rooting for both Isabel and Simon’s journey in helping foster dogs find their sparks again and settle into their own respective forever homes. Unfortunately, Isabel must continue said journey on her own at the moment. Simon passed away in July this year, just three months after her book’s publication. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t stumble upon their contents too often, but the news landed on my FYP and it just broke me. Because, personally, pet loss is still a very raw and sensitive topic for me. In her videos about this loss, hundreds of thousands of people from all around the world filled the comment section, expressing their condolences and also sharing stories of their own grief.
If you ever experience pet loss: firstly, I am terribly sorry for your loss, secondly, did at least one person tell you to just get another one? or, that you’re being too much for crying a lot for just a “pet”? Yup, been there. When I was at my lowest after my dog’s sudden death, I couldn’t help but feel that I cried over her more than I ever cried for any humans. The thought made me feel irrational, guilty, and confused. In the midst of my crazed hunt for any semblance of an answer, I typed, “pet loss” on YouTube. A Ted Talk video came up and it preserved a piece of my conscience. The 2022 video is titled: Pet loss grief; the pain explained. The speaker is Dr. Sarah Hoggan who has been a practicing veterinarian for over 20 years. She is a pet loss grief advocate and has done two TEDx Talks that discuss euthanasia and pet loss grief. Her key topics in those discussions were the exploration on why pet loss grief is different than losing a human, why it is valid, why it is so very hard, and ways that a pet’s lifetime of love and devotion can be celebrated and memorialized.
“When I talk to people about pet loss and I explain to them it is different from losing a human, they believe me because they feel it. but they don’t know why it is different. Our society tends to diminish the validity of the pain of pet loss. They act like it is almost histrionic, like you’re just grieving for attention. If our pets can make us laugh and happy, of course our hearts will break when they’re gone. our relationship with them is also different. When our pets look at us, they do not judge. They look at us and they say with their eyes, you are perfect and I love you. That is the warmest and most fulfilling connection to have, and that makes it incredibly hard when they’re gone.”
Many people tell her that they cried more when their pet died than when their mom died.
“Even if you had an incredible mom, her ability to speak makes all the difference.”
However, what Dr. Hoggan means that our mother could tell us that they’re tired, she didn’t feel good and have lived a good life. While it might be hard initially, in the end, you know that she is finally at peace. And you can get a semblance of peace too, knowing that your mother is free from any suffering and illness. Sadly, our pets didn’t have the ability to tell us that. Dr. Hoggan concluded her discussion with one last story.
“Early in my career, I did the hardest euthanasia that I have ever done. It was for a man who was mildly intellectually disabled and he had a very sick little dog that he had named Girl. She was in the end stage of liver failure. There was nothing I could do, no matter how much I wanted to save her and I told him that. He answered me in a voice choked with desperate anger. He said, ‘You don’t understand. She's special. The girl that I love the most is this girl and she loves me too. I need her.’ And then he tested me, almost in a whisper he said to me, ‘I'm not supposed to tell anybody this, but I have a credit card. and I will give it to you, and I will keep it a secret, if you will just fix Girl.’ That moment hurt and still hurts. When I said no to his credit card, he understood and he told her goodbye.”
Grief is a bona fide medical condition, with documented symptoms and it will always (like, ALWAYS) look different for every person. However, one thing’s for sure, grief is never supposed to be a linear journey. Sometimes it gets worse, and it will get worse, someday you find yourself laughing over silly little things. One day, the grief will soften, enough to be a background character in your everyday life. It will still be there, to remind you of the love, the endless, selfless love you shared with your loved ones. It will continue to hum gently in your consciousness. And though we would give just about anything to be able to spend forever with them who have passed, how lucky are we to have loved them unconditionally when they were still here. Our next great journey is to continue doing just that, until we grant the privilege of meeting them again.