Far too often, women have been labeled as bossy, demanding, and even insufferable perfectionists for simply getting a job well done. In a modern society where effort is often regarded lowly, the concept of trying is somehow alien to some people. Leadership, when owned by a woman, immediately turns her into a demanding boss who asks, expects, and demands too much. More often, I encounter this hatred from men as well as fellow women who view female leaders as annoying, as though we set impossible standards to keep up with. I figured this out early in life: people don’t like it when women take the wheel, when we are the visionary, when we lead the troops into battle.
While this has a huge correlation to the patriarchal structure, I suppose the rooted misogyny some people possess plays a huge part as well. These are two different factors, to me, that puppeteer the reason people hate female leaders. Although patriarchy itself is a form of misogyny, it was built on the construction that women are lesser than men, making us unsuitable to lead compared to men.
On the other hand, the rooted misogyny I mentioned previously follows the theory that some people don’t hate female leaders because men deserve the position more, but rather, they hate women who lead simply for being demanding females.
Demanding females are annoying and insufferable, but when a man is demanding, he’s the poster leader who knows what he wants and gets the job done.
In The Devil Wears Prada (2006), Anne Hathaway’s character, Andy Sachs, expressed the same concern about the hardworking and career-oriented Miranda Priestly, who people deemed a terrifying tyrant to her employees. Andy stated that if Miranda were a man, people would’ve praised her and discussed how good she is at her job, rather than criticising her extreme work ethic.
Image courtesy of 20th Century Studios
The difference in outcomes for being demanding between female leaders and male leaders is enough to proclaim that people simply hate women for doing precisely anything.
A part of this article was also inspired by a speech given by Emma Watson at the United Nations’ HeForShe Campaign back in 2014. Her speech was focused more on gender equality between women and men, but there was one line that stood out for me, and I thought was a huge reflection of my own thoughts. It was particularly when she shared her experiences that led her to become a feminist. She opened it with:
“I started questioning gender-based assumptions a long time ago. When I was eight, I was confused being called “bossy” because I wanted to direct the plays that we would put on for our parents. But the boys were not.”
Video courtesy of United Nations on YouTube
I figured that women tend to have a higher initiative to take over the steering wheel no one wanted to take. But somehow, the people who were not initiative enough to take the steering wheel in the first place will always, nevertheless, complain about being steered.
To me, women are naturally born leaders. From leading small groups in the playground to leading team projects in classes, big-scale projects in companies, and even leading the family as a mother. These are small examples which show the cycle that women have always been leading us all this time. Thus, why are we still doubting their quality as a leader?
Reese Witherspoon gave a speech when she was bestowed the award Woman of the Year from Glamour in 2015, where she stated that she was sick of seeing media representing women as dependent and clueless in a moment of crisis. She heavily reinforced that this was highly unrealistic, for we have always turned to women in a crisis or despair to seek a way out. This part of her speech catered to the idea that women have always been dependable and trustworthy to lead and figure out a way to help others.
Image courtesy of Glamour
Reese Witherspoon’s statement nonetheless brought us to the infamous line from the Lawyer and former Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, Ruth Bader Ginsburg:
“Women belong in all places where decisions are being made.”
Image courtesy of Time Magazine
She argues that instead of excluding women from the team discussion, women are the best decision-makers and problem-solvers, which implies that women are and have always been made for leading.
Therefore, the concept of underestimating female leaders is entirely absurd to me. Women don’t lead by asserting dominance, but people still feel pressured to follow their commands. I have experienced this oppression on my own, where people would roll their eyes once I voiced my visions and goals, stating that it’s impossible to fulfill my so-called perfectionist whims. However, when I started working in a group of women, I started to see a huge shift, where my voice is heard and my expectations are met. It came to me that I was not a stuck-up perfectionist, but some people just find it hard to follow an order laid out by high-achieving women.